I have an idea of why this is. So let me explain. Wait. There is too much. Let me sum up. Just kidding. The explanation is funnier than the sum. I don't know how that works.
I was in school when I initially wrote the blog. Again. I was a student at the prestigious Cal-State-San Ber-ghetto. Okay, okay. It's actually an o.k. school but what with all the budget cuts from our movie-star-governator, it had turned into a very angry and run down campus. Budget cuts=less money=Katie get's kicked out of school. I have no hard feelings. Really. I mean it. Even though I was only a few units away from getting a Masters. But I'm not upset. Seriously.
So I get kicked out of school, right? But its ok! Because I have my amazing Religious Studies degree to fall back on. And my extensive retail experience. So after a brief stint of working at a tax office (I love those ladies), I was able to procure gainful employment at a fine and luxurious establishment called "Burlington Coat Factory". Which, let's face it: is the K-Mart or Big-Lots of retail. But it was a job. And I liked it. For a while. Of course, then the men's dress shirts began piling up, the big & tall section was a constant thorn in my side, and my department was filled with drama (I still have no idea why). Even with the amazing people I worked with, all I wanted to do was run away. And I hate running. As a matter of principle, I only run when chased.
So I prayed. Sadly, my prayer life had depleted considerably from what it once was. It came down to praying at Mass, Bible Study, and before meals. So I wasn't expecting much. And I prayed the most risky prayer I had ever prayed before. In my life.
I told God: "God, give me joy. I don't care how. Just give me joy."
Did you know, that when you tell God that, He takes it seriously? Yeah. I didn't realize just how seriously. Slowly, the city "Houston" became a splinter in my brain. I'd been there once for a week whilst on NET, and it stuck with me. And I couldn't understand why, why it kept popping up. In idle conversations, or day dreams. Like when I'd be folding, and then refolding dress shirts. It felt like there was someone next to me, whispering incessantly, "Houston.... pssst... Katie... HOUSTON!" The voice sounded startlingly like my little sister.
So, in order to shut the whisper up, I started looking for jobs in Houston. Just to see. I didn't connect the unprecedented desire to get a job in Houston with my prayer. It didn't make sense. I looked at yahoo jobs, googled temp-agencies, tried to find out how long it would take to be a teacher. But nothing felt right. I even looked at retail gigs. Nothing. I couldn't see anything that would compel me to shift my world. And then I looked at the Archdiocese of Galveston-Houston. And something happened. My center of gravity shifted. I saw a job opening for a youth minister at this church, St. Paul's. I distinctly remember laughing, because I worked at a St. Paul the Apostle in Chino Hills. "How funny would it be," I naively thought, "if I got a job at this one too? Like a Part II... or part deux." And I'd always wanted to be a youth minister. For 12 years, that was my dream job. But somehow that dream got lost in the shuffle. Like paperwork at the DMV.
So I cavalierly submitted a resume. A real one. Not the shoddy email kind, but the real, linen type of paper kind. I literally went to Target (wow, fancy), to get special paper. Just for this resume. I wasn't even expecting a reply. I was expecting for this fancy paper to be chucked into the garbage bin. But two weeks after I sent it, after my rampant A.D.D. kicked in and I had forgotten that I even sent in a resume, I got an email. From some lady named Laura. And it said something to the effect of: "Hey, your resume is awesome, and I don't know if you noticed, but you live in California." I wrote back saying, "Its ok. I can move." And Laura was like, "Are you sure?" And I was like, "Uh... yeah. I'm sure." But I wasn't sure. The rational voice in the back of my mind (which, oddly enough, sounds like my brother Bobby) was yelling, "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?" And honestly, I didn't know. But I knew it was something I had to do. I wasn't sure if I was going to get the job. I wasn't sure if I got an offer if I would even take it. I was a big ball of unsure-ness. That much I was sure about. Not to mention, they required an in-person interview with the teens (more like an audition), and I'd have to pay for it myself. So I decided if I made it to that round, I would drive. It would be fun! Yeah.... a 24-hour drive... fun!
I told my parents I was thinking about moving out of state. That I was talking to this lady and she was offering me a full-time job as a youth minister. With benefits. Which I'd never had before. I was expecting my parents to try and talk me out of it. I was expecting my dad to hit the roof or tell me I was crazy. Instead, he said "Kate, you know whatever you want to do, we will support you." Even typing out that statement now is making me a bit teary-eyed. I love my daddy.
Anyway. I wasn't sure. And then I doubted my unsuredness. And then I went on a retreat. And on this retreat, every little gift, every little moment of prayer was God asking me: "Katie, do you trust me?" And would tell Him, "Yes, of course I trust You!" And He would ask me again, "Katie, do you trust me?" and I would tell him, "YES! I trust You!"
Did you know when you tell God that you trust Him, He takes that seriously? I do now. I left that retreat feeling absolutely sure, but scared to pieces, that this job was exactly what God wanted for me. So I marched forward with the interview process. With a quasi-firm surety, staunch, and unassuming. But I knew that I needed to trust in God. After all, I had told Him I did. So I needed to stick to it.
Part ii coming tomorrow! Yogurt for dinner.
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